Cheesius's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Dance dün hampster]

Best use of the hamsterdance song ever.

That was very entertaining and well done. It was also random. I like random (heck, just watch my cartoons, you'll see I like random). Excellent job there.

[The Squares]

YES! yes.

Yes. This is good. I enjoyed this. The pineapple at the end was a nice touch. Oops! I gave away the ending! That was quite thoughtless of me. Excellent. I have voted 4.

[Magnificent Chubbalope #1]

Nice, entertaining

I'm looking forward to seeing more of this series, it was very entertaining. I don't really have any suggestions, it was very well done. Good job.

Unfortunately, I watched several toons, then my browser crashed, and I came back to write reviews.... And now Newgrounds is complaining that I am not putting enough thought into my reviews... Come on, people, I don't really have anything else to say. I suppose I could tell you a joke. Stop me if you've heard this one.

Three strings walk into a bar. The first string walks up to the bar and says "I'd like three beers, please." The bartender leans in close, narrows his eyes, and says "We don't serve strings here."

He goes back to his friends. "We'd better go someplace else, guys," he says. "No," the second string says. "I'll get us some beer." He goes up to the bar. "Hey, man. Three beers." The bartender grabs him and starts to choke him, the veins on his neck bulging, his teeth clenched as he says "WE DON'T SERVE STRINGS!!!"

He goes back to the table with his friends. "Ok, let's go someplace else." The third string says "No, we're here for beer, and I'm gonna get us some." He goes into the bathroom and messes himself up, and gets himself all tangled up, and then goes up to the bar.

"Three beers." The bartender looks at him really close. "Are you a string?" he asks. "Nope," replies the third string. "I'm a frayed knot."

That joke only really works when said out loud.

[Sonic Breaks his Neck]

Well animated, cleverish

Pretty good... Not as hilarious as I was hoping, but well drawn and well animated. I liked Amy's blood, that was a nice touch.

Well, since I watched like 4 cartoons, then my browser crashed, and then I came back online to write reviews for them... Newgrounds is complaining that I'm not putting enough thought into my review. Fine, Okay.

Um.

Tails was pretty crazy. The incredible hulk theme was a nice touch.

I really don't have anything else to say.

[A VD Message]

Set your sound to "stream."

If it had just been in sync with the audio... then it still wouldn't have been anything special, the only jokes in there were from Spinal Tap, I was kinda hoping for something entertaining to watch. Some visual gags would have been good.

[Mario Bros. Arcade]

It's all right

The sprite animation was superb, the sound sync was good, but most of the jokes seemed to be all setup and no punchline. I'll go over my ratings here.

Graphics - 10 - As I say, your sprites looked perfect, not a thing wrong with them. Well, the only thing I could suggest is that it woulda looked better if the fireball had been spinning like it really does in the game, 90 degree rotations only, instead of smoothly. But seriously, that's nitpicking, so I didn't detract from your score.

Style - 7 - Yes, Mario Bros hasn't really been done before, but Mario in general has, and unfortunately, to death. You stayed relatively original with your jokes, but there just aren't that many Mario-related jokes left.

Sound - 7 - The quality of the sound is a little low, which I suppose made the thing load faster, but it woulda been nice if it sounded a little better.

Violence - 9 - Most of the violence in here was kinda ho-hum, but I did laugh when Mario was frozen and shattered into a bunch of pieces. You got bonus points for that.

Interactivity - 5 - Not a whole lot that I noticed, but what was there seemed to work fine.

Humor - 4 - Like I said, most of the jokes were all setup and no punchline. There were a few decent ones, but I only found myself laughing one or two times.

Anyway, it didn't suck - I don't feel like I wasted my time watching it... But I was a little disappointed. Nicely animated tho.

[The Ultimate Showdown]

Absolutley hilarious, despite the absence of Mr. T

How could you skip Mister T? Ah, well - perhaps Mister T is overused in flash. Ah well.

Graphics: I gave you a 7. It's not a 10 because the artwork/animation isn't fantastic (plus, there's like 5 versions of Godzilla in this thing), but it's reasonably high because you've managed to maintain high recognizeablility even while keeping things simple, something I can't seem to do (keep things simple) in my own cartoons.

Style: 10, definitely a ten. Fantastic.

Sound: Well of course it's a 10.

Violence: 9 - It really is very well done.

Interactivity: There isn't really any, other than turning subtitles on and off, and the replay button (unless I missed some easter eggs)... So I didn't rate you on interactivity.

Humor: 11. Seriously. Laughed my freakin ass off.

Overall, I averaged the scores and got a 9, and that's purty darn good. Fantastic job there. Keep up the good work.

[Cemetery Polka]

Superb!

That was really excellent. I enjoyed every minute of it. Only a 2.58? Man. Some of these people are far too picky. The artwork was simple, but the animation was great. The jokes kept coming and coming. Nice job.

I have nothing else to say, so I will write a limerick inspired by your cartoon:

In a house with a million cats
Lives a lady who's totally bats
She serves up her tea
With a side of old brie
That she keeps in a box with her hats.

Um. Well, whaddya want for off the cuff. It's got the right syllables, and it rhymes. Yeah! Later.

starkravenmadd responds:

Thanks! Oh and I love the limerick.... very very clever!

[Magical Trevor 3]

It's funny to see

It's funny to see all these people reviewing your toons here, who obviously have no clue that you already are a fairly famous and well-established animator. "You need to work on this," "Good job, I see improvement," etcetera. How many of them know that you (possibly all by yourself) are responsible for the flash loop craze (of which I've even done one or two myself)? Ah well.

Good job as always, the best Trevor yet. Looking forward to the next great thing.

Oh, and I really enjoyed the thoughtful discussion of Virtua Tennis for the PSP that you have on your website. It was very insightful, and highly amusing.

["The Mustache Contest"]

Dear Mike,

I'm gonna review this when it finishes loading, but since I'm on dialup, and it's like 4.6 megs, I needed something to do while I wait for it to load. So I thought I'd write you a letter.

Hey, Mike!

How's it going? What have you been up to lately? I see from your profile that you live in Los Angeles. My uncle lives there, I visited him last summer - Los Angeles is like another planet, really. I'm from Oregon, and so it's quite a change to go down there, but I had a good time. We went to Joshua Tree while I was there, that was pretty cool, I took lots of pictures of big rocks and joshua trees and things like that.

I suppose it's no big thing that I have a relative in L.A. - I mean, it's freakin' huge, right? So EVERYONE probably has a relative in L.A. someplace. But you know, I'm just trying to make conversation. While I wait for this 'toon to load. Which it is. Slowly.

Anyway, Oregon is a pretty nice place, especially if you like outdoor stuff. Lots of trees up here, and mountains. Lots of places to camp, or fish, or hunt if you're into that sort of thing (which I'm not, the closest thing I come to hunting is when I open the package the ground beef came in). Then out east there's desert, and of course going west there's the ocean, and lots of really rocky beaches, and sea lions, and stuff. It's all very scenic.

But if you live in one place long enough you kind of become blinded to the beauty around you, you know? That's why I love to travel whenever I can. I've lived in lots of places - I was actually born in San Francisco. I've lived on both coasts, and several states inbetween.

Man, this thing is taking awhile to load. Dialup sucks, man. I don't recommend it. I mean, unless you're living in like 1994 or something... Then you don't really have much of a choice. And... Oh! Look! It's loaded! Ok. Gonna watch now.

Very entertaining, well animated, and all around good fun. I'mmah give it high marks. Lessee.

10 on Graphics - Yes, they were simple, but they were consistent, told the story well, and the characters were fun looking. Nice job.

10 out of 10 for style, too. I mean, hey. You mentioned Tom Selleck. What's more stylish than Tom Selleck, TV's Magnum P.I.? Of course, the answer is Richard Dean Anderson, TV's MacGyver. I mean, he made a blow torch out of a bicycle, and fixed an out of control car's brakes with a bic pen, all with a mullet. That's quite a handicap, but he managed it. Where was I? Oh yeah.

10 out of 10 for sound. The voices were excellent, the voice acting was perfect, the recordings didn't suck. The music was good for the cartoon, that worked very well.

Hm. I don't think there was any violence. Oh, wait, the "murder." I remember now. Well it was well done, but not much to it. I'll give ya a 5 there. Trust me, it's not hurting you any, you're doing fine in the other categories.

It wasn't really interactive at all, so I'll just skip that one.

10 on humor, definitely. I laughed aloud several times. It was funny stuff, after all.

Excellent. See, if I were to add up your points, you'd get a ... HOLY COW!!! 45 POINTS!!! Oh, wait, I'm supposed to split that 5 ways. Well, you'd get an even 9... But the violence bit - well, I only rated it because I had to rate the violence. So I'm giving you a 10. Good job! And I'll vote 5, too.

Anyway, nice chatting with ya. Have a good one.

-- Jason

BabyBirdComics responds:

dear jason,

thanks.

--mike