Cheesius's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Pico vs. Sticks]

It;s INFESTED... not invested.

Investing is something that stockbrokers do. Infesting is something that cockroaches do. I know, cockroaches and stockbrokers are very similar, but that's the difference.

Other than that, I have no complaints.

brainface responds:

hahahaha yeah I had to make up that stuff really fast since pico day was almost over. buts its all changed now. Thanks for the review

[Banana Heist]

I like it, but it's too quiet.

I'm gonna make a soundtrack for your cartoon, because it deserves one. If you want it, e-mail me, and let me know where to send it.

Observer-Mark responds:

cheers that would be great, please email to [e-mail]

[Pokemon Snot Green]

meh

I'm on dialup, so I'm likely to notice some things other people won't... Cheif among this is the music playing while it's loading. That's just annoying. I tend ot watch one cartoon while another one loads, and the music makes it difficult, which right away makes me dislike your toon a bit. I haven't even SEEN the toon yet, and already I'm predisposed to think it's going to be annoying. The saving grace is that the music did fade out at some point, at least there's that.

Ok, it's done loading, gonna watch now.

Meh. Not very interesting, not very funny. The sprite animation was well done, but since sprite animation is so easy, I'm not likely to give you many points for that. Try to come up with some actual jokes, rather than just having the characters be annoying.

Chaossal responds:

y didn't you just mute the sound by right clickin.

[Cat (short film)]

I see promise, but I'mah check "needs improvement"

Your characters looked good, and they moved relatively well. That's the good news.

the bad news - The beginning lags to hell, and you really shouldn't have given the whole plot away on that first screen. Seriously, I finished reading it and was waiting for a long time for it to move on to the next screen.

then it got into the movie, and there were no sound effects, no voices, nothing. Okay, must be a music video, right? Nope. The song ended about halfway through the movie. That's annoying too.

Okay, then when they're running through the woods, yeah - it slowed down to like 2 fps, even when I dropped the quality to low. Too many objects that are too complex. You need to optimize your objects. If something doesn't need to move indipendently, it should be combined with the background, or whatever it moves with.

The rest of the movie had some speed issues as well, I'm guessing you've done no optimization at all.

But seriously, the artwork showed promise, as did your skill in animating the characters. You just need to get better at the mechanics of cartoon making.

meneerken-retteketet responds:

it stopped half way ? 2fps ? Man ! And i thought my pc was crap !

Btw: all objects are optimized, and the running scenes are automaticaly put to low quality. I figured if it runned smoothly on my crappy computer it would run at least twice as smooth on all other machines.. Guess you beat me :p

["The Mustache Contest"]

Dear Mike,

I'm gonna review this when it finishes loading, but since I'm on dialup, and it's like 4.6 megs, I needed something to do while I wait for it to load. So I thought I'd write you a letter.

Hey, Mike!

How's it going? What have you been up to lately? I see from your profile that you live in Los Angeles. My uncle lives there, I visited him last summer - Los Angeles is like another planet, really. I'm from Oregon, and so it's quite a change to go down there, but I had a good time. We went to Joshua Tree while I was there, that was pretty cool, I took lots of pictures of big rocks and joshua trees and things like that.

I suppose it's no big thing that I have a relative in L.A. - I mean, it's freakin' huge, right? So EVERYONE probably has a relative in L.A. someplace. But you know, I'm just trying to make conversation. While I wait for this 'toon to load. Which it is. Slowly.

Anyway, Oregon is a pretty nice place, especially if you like outdoor stuff. Lots of trees up here, and mountains. Lots of places to camp, or fish, or hunt if you're into that sort of thing (which I'm not, the closest thing I come to hunting is when I open the package the ground beef came in). Then out east there's desert, and of course going west there's the ocean, and lots of really rocky beaches, and sea lions, and stuff. It's all very scenic.

But if you live in one place long enough you kind of become blinded to the beauty around you, you know? That's why I love to travel whenever I can. I've lived in lots of places - I was actually born in San Francisco. I've lived on both coasts, and several states inbetween.

Man, this thing is taking awhile to load. Dialup sucks, man. I don't recommend it. I mean, unless you're living in like 1994 or something... Then you don't really have much of a choice. And... Oh! Look! It's loaded! Ok. Gonna watch now.

Very entertaining, well animated, and all around good fun. I'mmah give it high marks. Lessee.

10 on Graphics - Yes, they were simple, but they were consistent, told the story well, and the characters were fun looking. Nice job.

10 out of 10 for style, too. I mean, hey. You mentioned Tom Selleck. What's more stylish than Tom Selleck, TV's Magnum P.I.? Of course, the answer is Richard Dean Anderson, TV's MacGyver. I mean, he made a blow torch out of a bicycle, and fixed an out of control car's brakes with a bic pen, all with a mullet. That's quite a handicap, but he managed it. Where was I? Oh yeah.

10 out of 10 for sound. The voices were excellent, the voice acting was perfect, the recordings didn't suck. The music was good for the cartoon, that worked very well.

Hm. I don't think there was any violence. Oh, wait, the "murder." I remember now. Well it was well done, but not much to it. I'll give ya a 5 there. Trust me, it's not hurting you any, you're doing fine in the other categories.

It wasn't really interactive at all, so I'll just skip that one.

10 on humor, definitely. I laughed aloud several times. It was funny stuff, after all.

Excellent. See, if I were to add up your points, you'd get a ... HOLY COW!!! 45 POINTS!!! Oh, wait, I'm supposed to split that 5 ways. Well, you'd get an even 9... But the violence bit - well, I only rated it because I had to rate the violence. So I'm giving you a 10. Good job! And I'll vote 5, too.

Anyway, nice chatting with ya. Have a good one.

-- Jason

BabyBirdComics responds:

dear jason,

thanks.

--mike

[The Breakup]

Excellent excellent.

Sorry it took so long ror me to watch it, but you know, I'm on dialup, and I've been waiting for it to load all week. Um. Yeah, that's it.

I wouldn't go as far as to say it's the best colack movie I've seen, but that's because I don't know what a colack movie is.

Anyway, excellent job. I would say the sound was a little odd... Strawberry's voice volume kept changing - possibly that was deliberate, but it just came across as a little strange. Your replay button didn't actually replay it - probably ought to fix that.

Overall, purty darn good. Clean and simple, the way flash should look. Excellent job. best colack movie i have seen in a long time. I think.

Masquatto responds:

Lol. I hope you mean Clock movie.

Yeah I just noticed that about the replay button. I might fix that.

Strawberry's sound was supposed to match where we was on screen. When he was on the right, the sound shoulda been coming mostly from your right speaker. If not, well... derp.

I thought you got DSL.

[Footbag Mania]

Not too bad

I'm just kind of sick of these "Stick figures getting killed by spikes and falling things in strange line-art world" kind of things. But this was reasonably well done for one of those, and I guess the hacky-sack angle was kind of unique. Good job.

N2tZ responds:

thanks, but i dont have a better idea than spikes ^^